I want to resume writing. It has been a while. I was too busy to write about anything.


I always pursued perfectionism. Now I realize that this perfectionism is holding me back from taking any steps.

Sometimes, you make much more progress by just doing things.

How can you come up with a perfect result, on your first try? Just accept that your first 100 works are going to be shitty. Then, what is the best way to improve it? That would be getting those 100 shits out as quickly as possible.

I want to write, to think out loud. I have been stuck in my mind for so long.

I was afraid of being shown. judged. ridiculed.

The deeper I hide, the more I got feared about showing myself.

The worry that someone may think I'm childish, or that I don't live up to my age or the number of years of experience in my professional career.

But, who actually does that? Most people aren't even that interested in someone.

Even if they do, why am I so conscious of their eyes?

Live your life. It is your life. The more you hide, the more you lose.

Capture the moment. Enjoy the moment.

Life is more than what worries you right in front of you.

Don't try to do well too hard.

It will be okay.

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The 2016 spring semester ended on Friday of the last week, and I am at the end of summer intermission. Frankly a week of break is too short I feel. It could have been awesome to have one more week of break(and I promise I don't ask for more.) But still, it has been a wonderful break anyway. Oversleeping, drinking with friends, jogging and weight-lifting, and writing on blog, cycling, ... I have done a lot of activities, met many friends, rested enough to get up and run again. Well, I want more of this time, but summer semester is not too bad; I have some spare time.

I need some time to take a look back the past project. There are going to be countless jewels and golds to be discovered that are buried in the time and memory of the year. How to work with friends, how to brainstorm together, how to decide when ideas diverge, how to deliver ideas, how to deliver opinions, ... I will learn if contemplation is followed. I should make time for it. I should.

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  I think I should remain the record of yesterday's contemplation on my future. I was seriously confused about what to focus when studying. My mind said to dive into game design, my brain into game programming, and my dad into AI. My dad's advice was quite recent(after Alphago have won over Se-dol Lee), but consistent and frequent enough to confuse myself on what I should do. Fortunately, yesterday's contemplation made it clear; the area of AI is really really prominent, but if I was going to follow external rewards - or how the area is going to be bright in the future -, I would have been doing something other than programming. External rewards haven't really attracted me much since my early youth, and therefore were not considered at all when I was deciding to go to Korea Game Science High School. The only factor that made me take a step toward programming was the possibility of games as mediums and that programming was the only method to create games. I am going to move to game design in the end, because game design is actually about using games as mediums, but I am going to concentrate on game programming while studying at Digipen. Having an idea is easy and everyone can do that, but convincing it at its raw state is really hard. An idea that is actually implemented and visualized, that actually became visible and tangible, is much more convincing and persuasive. Above this, prototyping proves/disproves the validity of the idea and makes you see what's in it beyond the idea. Also, it is a *safer path for either getting a job or for beginning a start-up, which I will probably do after graduating Digipen.

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